August 25th, 2019
It took me several decades to begin showing my art to the general public, or to dare to say "here I am." It had often seemed like when others dared to step forward in self-declaration, they often received some universal knee-jerk reaction from the world saying "What makes you think you're so special?" It always seemed like these self-declarators were viewed by others as were bragging, or declaring their talent to the world in a delusional act of self-recommendation. I had a fear of being viewed as a delusional braggart who was assuming that I had something "special" and claiming the hutzpah to be visible. So I stayed hidden. I withheld all of my creations my entire life for fear of seeming egotistical. Then a friend recently hit me on the head and gave me a new viewpoint to consider. Sharing what I create does not mean I think my work is great or special. It simply lets other people get to know me, flaws and all. It lets them share in my life, in my point of view. Whether they like my creations or not is not the point of sharing. Coming out of my artistic closet is a way to stop hoarding and hiding what I am from others, to be part of the world, and to open my heart. For better or worse. Whether celebrated or rejected. I choose to be visible. The ego gets attached to acceptance and confirmation from others, and very attached to avoiding rejection. But this ride of creativity and sharing isn't about the ego. It's in spite of the ego. The ego is just a navigator along for the ride, not the conductor.